Bhutan, How, What, Where, etc!

Getting there: 

- By Road: Entry and Exit at Phuentsholing (Phuntsholing) bordering Jaigaon in West Bengal.  Get to New Alipurduar (Station Code: NOQ) by rail and take a taxi to the border (2 hrs drive) for around Rs 600 - Rs 800.  Call Mr. Jagan at 9842455691 to book his taxi.  Very few train options to Hashimara which is very close to Jaigaon.  Or Take a taxi from Darjeeling/Gangtok for Rs 3000- Rs 3500.  Samdhrup Jhongkar is a not a feasible option to exit Bhutan (into Assam), takes 4 days to get there from Thimpu. 

- By Air: Fly to Paro from Calcutta or Kathmandu by Druk air.  More info available at their website.  Recently read that they are contemplating reducing airfares to increase the air traffic.

Visas and permits:

Indians and Nepalese do not need a visa to enter Bhutan.  All they need is a copy (front and back) of one of the following IDs to get permits.

- National Passport

- Voter ID Card

Absolutely No PAN Card, No Driving License or any other forms of ID are accepted.  Be sure to carry a few passport size photographs with you.  

Email Karma Samphel (Asst. Immigration Officer) at karma_samphel@yahoo.com if you want some specific information.  Be sure to take permits for each and every Dzongkha (District) that you plan to visit.  Takes around 2 to 3 hrs to get the permit at Phuentsholing.  Permits for the Dzongs of Punakha, Wangdi and Paro have to be taken in Thimpu.  Permit at the border is given only for the Dzongkha not the Dzongs.

All non-Indians and non-Nepalese need to book their travel through one of the Govt approved agencies.  They would have to pay $200 per day and everything is taken care of.  

Travel within Bhutan:

Travel in Bhutan is easy but on the expensive side.  Taxis are easy to get at the designated taxi stands.  Consider fares reasonable if they are:

Phuentsholing to Thimpu:  Rs 400 per person or Rs 1600 - Rs 1800 for a Maruti WagonR or van.  Takes 6 hours on the winding mountainous roads.  Expected to come down to 4 hrs after the two lane road construction to be completed this summer.  Try to do a daytime journey to enjoy the beautiful scenery.

Tour Thimpu: Rs 600 for a Maruti WagonR or van.  Day trip.

Thimpu to Punakha and Wangdiphodrong: Rs 1000 to 1200 for a Maruti WagonR or van.  Takes around 2 to 2.5 hrs to get there.  Day trip.

Thimpu to Paro: Rs 150 to 200 per person or Rs 800 for a Maruti WagonR or van.  Takes around 1 hour to get there. Day trip.  Try hiking/trekking to Tigers Nest roughly 6 Kms from Paro.

 

Places to Stay:

I strongly suggest making Thimpu your base.  Thimpu has good hotels and restuarants.  Make day trips and get back to Thimpu for dinner.  A few hotels;

Hotel Druk - Decent but pricey.  Ph:322966

Hotel NT -  Ph:323458

Hotel Tandin - Worth the price but do not expect hot water all the time or great decor.  Plain and Simple.  Ph: 323380, 323381

Hotel Pedling - Ph:325714

R Penjor Restaurant & Lodge - Ph: 325578, Email: lethobtn@druknet.bt

There are a lot of other hotels on the main street, , Norzin Lam in Thimpu.  Go check them out before you check in.  

Places to eat:

A bunch of restuarants to choose from on the main street.  One we liked and enjoyed eating at was Penjor Restaurant.  Its owned by a sweet young lady who doesn't mind sitting and chatting with you.   

Currency:

Ngultrum, and Rupees are accepted as well.  1 Ngultrum = 1 Rupee.  Do not carry a lot of 500 or 1000 Rupee notes.  Only major businesses accept such large denominations due to fear of fake currency.

     

Bhutan, The Land of The Thunder Dragon

Note: If you want to skip my travelogue and are interested in just the important travel details click here.

Bhutan, the land of thunder dragon, here we come, I was saying to myself as we took the taxi early in the morning at around 4:30 AM in Darjeeling.  It was tough getting up in the cold, and the fact that I slept for 3 hrs only didnt help. We had booked the taxi, a Chevy Tavera for 3000Rs.  The taxi costs are considerably high in the hills mainly because of the bad roads.  These roads can kill your back, bumpy swinging rides are fun only on roller coasters.  Our destination was Jaigaon, a dusty border town on Indo-Bhutanese border in West Bengal.  The drive was pretty scenic with the beautiful Rongit river giving you some company along the numerous curves in the hills.  The town on the other side of Jaigaon in Bhutan is Phuentsholing.  Phuentsholing is the only entry point into Bhutan by road.  As for exit by road it can be done from Phuentsholing as well as Samdrup Jhongkar (into Assam) but its not even worth a try to exit via Samdrup Jhongkar as getting to the town takes approximately four days from Thimpu, capital of Bhutan.

We reached Jaigaon at around 10:30 am.  All along the plains I was wondering where are the mountains, Bhutan is a land of mountains?  You reach Jaigaon and still no mountains, but wait! reach the border and lo behold the mountains appear on the horizon and do look inviting very unlike Jaigaon.  The taxi-wallah dropped us at some random location and told us here you go, this is the border and we were like what? Where? are you kidding me? You get down, look around and there... you see an arch almost lost in the ordinariness of Jaigaon.  Thats the gate into the land of thunder dragon? you ask yourself.  Check it out in the first photograph.  After paying for the taxi, we lugged our bags along as we walked through the side gate for pedestrians.  Suddenly a man in a grey kho (Bhutanese traditional dress for men) jumped us by appearing out of nowhere.  He asked us for our identification, looked at our Indian passports and asked for our reason to enter Bhutan.  When we replied tourism, he seemed satisfied and directed us to the immigration building located a few hundred meters away.  Indian nationals do not require a visa to enter Bhutan, but require permits to enter each and every district.  The acceptable forms of identification to get a permit to enter Bhutan are 

1) Indian Passport

2) Indian Voter ID Card

Keep in mind, absolutely no Pan Card, no Driving License and any other form of identification.  A lot of websites, personal blogs will tell you that a Indian driving license is accepted by Bhutanese immigration officials.  I am telling you from personal experience its NOT accepted.  Also do not forget to take a few passport size photographs and paper copies of the ID you are carrying.    

Phuentsholing didnt look any different from Jaigaon except for the people, their dressing style and the exterior of the buildings.  As we walked to the building we couldn't help but notice the Bharat Petroleum petrol bunk on the way.  The immigration building looked so similar to our Govt. offices, you might not be amused.  There was a security guard in a kho sitting outside on a stool.  He was not the friendly type that you would expect to come across in Bhutan, rudely questioned our business in Hindi and gave us a few forms to fill.  A lot of Bhutanese speak Hindi, especially in Phuentsholing and Thimpu.  The form asks you your origin, address, occupation, form of identification and the places you plan to visit.  We filled in Thimpu, Paro and Punakha as these were the places everyone suggested on web.  

After we filled the forms the guard let only one of us in and ordered to leave the bags by the doorway.  I  proceeded to the first counter where the lady asked me where I am from and why I am visiting Bhutan.  One of my friends had provided Indian driving license as ID which we were told was not acceptable.  We were advised to get the license copy attested at the Indian House (consulate) located a bit away.  The officer at the Indian House refused to attest both drivers license and PAN Card while a copy of ration card all in Tamil was acceptable and attested.  Thank modern day technology for being able to get a copy of ration card from Chennai in a few minutes.  Without that ration card there would be not Bhutan trip and no blog about it.       

So we were back at the immigration office at 12:30 pm happy that we can finally get going and be the tourists we wanted to be.  We were also extra happy that we made it before 1:00 pm when the Bhutanese babus take their lunch break.  But wait, didnt your mom tell you that Bhutan is half hour ahead of India?  Damn you!!  We waited for a bloody hour outside the office since we weren't allowed inside by our 'friendly' guard, went in at 2:00 pm, submitted our forms and had to wait for another frustrating 2 hours to get the permits.  We got permits for Thimpu and Paro only.  The polite immigration officer was kind enough to look through the yellow pages and give me a couple of phone numbers for hotels in Thimpu.  Went ahead and booked the Druk hotel for Rs 3800 per night.  At around 4:30 pm we were off to Thimpu in a Maruti WagonR after haggling and settling for Rs2000.  It didnt strike me until   

Chalo India

All,

Its a matter of 2 days now... somehow get past these and I will be on a flight to India, home sweet home.  The last time I was there, I had both bitter and sweet experiences.  The irritations I had back then are still going to be there.... roads have gone from bad to worse, and so has the traffic.  I was young back then, loaded with some bloated passion thinking I can change the world and getting frustrated when I was helpless.  Now I am older and wiser.... the funda is "Accept a few realities in India, adjust a little here, lot there and you are bound to be happy".  

I will be traveling for 3 weeks out of my 5 weeks vacation while I am in India.  The plan is to cover a few parts of Tamil Nadu, places around Mysore and a lot of places in the North East.  Its going to be both interesting and tough.  Right now trying to find information about each place is taking up a lot of my time as you have to go to hajjaar websites to get the info you require.  During my travels I plan on keeping a travel diary noting the ways to reach a place, time it takes to get there, hotels to stay, transport to get around, and of course places to visit.    

Chalo India! Wish me luck.

Mind blowing!!??

I have finally convinced myself to take my wifey to watch "Om Shanti Om". While the vomit evoking publicity and mind numbing first week collections have gotten on to my nerves, I am slipping up on my tastes, principles and beliefs just to make my wife happy. I think I have gone senile at the tender age of 26. Will the movie be really mind blowing ??? I bet it will be - generous loads of pun intended on this one.

My friends enjoyed the movie thoroughly but gave the disclaimer "Arey! for this you need to put brain at home and go, then u will enjoy a lot yaar!!". Really??? So, it must be a typical bollywood movie, right?. Then why all the hype and hoopla for an average bollywood 'entertainer'? Sharukh and Farah are ofcourse gonna publicise their movie cos one produced it and the other one directed it. But why is the public and media madly in love with it all the while telling others that its a 'brainless' movie? Is it Sharukh Khan's abs? Deepika Padukone's abs? Dunno if the reasons are that silly, but I am convinced even before watching it that Indian audience has gotten so used to the illogical crap from bollywood that they have lessened their expectations almost to zero. And whenever a movie comes along that beats their expectations or the lack thereof, it seems to become a hit, a sensational hit in this case. Farah, you have done your bit in strengthening the curse of Indian cinema.

I will make it back home after the movie for sure but whether I will come back in survival mode I don't know. I am sure my wife will enjoy the movie thoroughly. I hope I enjoy it too, after all I am gonna spend my precious 8 $. May the force be with me. If someone is out there listening (reading this!) to me, please pray for me.

Letter to Indian Consulate

I sent the following email to all the Indian consulates in the US after getting disgusted with the service there. As expected got no response. Indian Govt offices will remain apathetic for generations to come.

"Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this email with great displeasure to bring to your notice the unprofessional services extended by the consular officers as well as the Indian Consulate itself in Houston.

Let me first start with the Consulate;
_

1) It has no physical security whatsoever, for e.g., no qualified person manning the front door. Any person may enter or exit at his will at any time, which poses the question, "Has the Indian Consulate stopped being the highest form of representation of India that it doesn't need any security?".

_

2) There are no rules of conduct posted anywhere in the premises of the Consulate. Why or rather, why not? I have seen agents bringing in cheeseburgers and fries and using the space on closed counters # 3 & 4 as their dining tables. How disgusting is it when official business in progress at counter # 2? I have also seen an agent playing loud music on his cell phone sitting in front of the closed counter # 3. Doesn't that amount to disrespect of Republic of India?

_

3) Why are agents allowed inside? Agents' services are in general used to prepare correct paperwork for applicants not to deliver them personally.

_

4) The consular officer meets one agent for every 5 individuals she/he has seen. Each agent brings in atleast 10 passports/applications which take up a lot of time at the counter? Is it a rule of the Consulate to see one agent after every 5 individual applicants? Why should individuals wait extra time for the sake of the agents?

_

Now, let me get to the consular officers;

_

1) Why are they so rude and disrespectful to Indian citizens? Are the consular officers not Indians? They are living in the US, so they definitely must be knowing what customer service is all about. One visit to a local bank or a burger joint or a local grocery shop is enough to teach any person customer service. If I, a highly educated person, am being treated in a shoddy manner what about individuals who do not have good education? Are they going to be treated like filth? If they don't like servicing Indians they should not be working at the Indian Consulate in the first place.

_

2) Why are the consular officers so friendly with the agents? None of the agents I had seen were Indians. Is that why? In the consulate premises, the agents conduct themselves as if they run the place. All this begs the question, are some under the table dealings going on between the agents and the officers? You might scoff at this question but, if you were one of the applicants waiting and observing the consular officer's behaviour, this question would have definitely crossed your mind.

_

3) The consular officer has been given a switch to update the token number which she rarely updated when I was there. Instead, she resorted to the unprofessional manner of saying "next". Are the individuals waiting with token numbers supposed to discuss among themselves who is next in line?

_

4) The consular officer switches to Hindi every now and then, never using the word "aap", always using the word "tum". Is she my aunt/sister/mother that she can use the word "tum" while talking to me? First, the use of Hindi itself should be avoided when the applicant is speaking in English and not Hindi. How unprofessional!!

_

5) The consular officer hurries people if they are individual applicants, but if they are agents then they have all the time in the world to catch up on all and sundry. Again and again, the same question comes to my mind, why is the consular officer mistreating Indians?

_

In my one visit spanning two hours if I can have so many complaints and find so many faults with the Indian Consulate, I can only imagine what regular visitors might be experiencing. I shudder at the thought.

_

I am doing my job of bringing the 'wrongs' to your notice. If you read web forums discussing issues related to Indian Consulates in the US, you will find thousands of them abusing all the Indian Consulates. Why are the Indian Consulates run in such an unprofessional manner? I have copied the Consul Generals of other Indian Consulates in the US in this email since some of the above problems might affect their Consulates also.

_

Its left to you if you want to do the job of correcting the wrongs. Most of the above can be dealt with simple common sense and some lessons in human resources. The least you can do is raise the status of the Indian Consulates in the eyes of the citizens of India if not of other countries.

_

~A concerned Indian"

Passport Blues - I

I should have written this two months ago while my memory was still fresh and my blood was fighting to reach its boiling point. I hate all those "India is the place to be" drum beaters. I agree India is the place to be but for all the right reasons not the false reasons these drum beaters think of. They think India is developed, economy is soaring, infrastructure woes are talk of yesterday, etc, etc. To me India is the place to be because my family is there, my roots lie in there, things are changing and I would like to play a big part in accelerating those changes. First of all let me correct those morons that India is not developed yet, economy is soaring for a very small percentage of people and infrastructure woes are going to be the talk of tomorrow as well.

Anyways before I digress much further let me talk about the topic at hand. Me and my wife booked tickets to this wonderful group of islands "Maldives" for our honeymoon. Little did we know that our passports need a particular stamp from the Govt for this trip to become a reality. Before I left the US for India, I got to know about this ECNR (Emigration Check Not Required) thing that we had to get stamped in our passports. My 'wife to be' duly took leave of her office and went to Bangalore to get it stamped. She got everything done in a single day and heaved a sigh of relief. Now, it was left to me to get mine stamped before we got married so that we can leave peacefully for Maldives. After landing in Hyd and the initial jet lag I decided to go to the passport office in Secunderabad, now that we have moved to Sec'bad. Everyone warned me that I need to get there early so that I could get mine done faster. The office they said opens at 9:00 am (or 9:30 was it?) and closes for general public at 12:30 pm. Anyways me being a bit lazy reached the office at 9:15 am instead of 8:00 am suggested by people. The travails begin.....

There was a young lady selling various passport applications and forms in front of the office. I went to her bought the appropriate form (called "Miscellaneous Form") for 5 bucks and duly went to the gate only to be stopped by a policewallah. The guy asked me who the applicant was and upon being told that I was the (un)fortunate one asked me to show my application form. Seeing that neither a photo was attached nor the blanks filled 'ordered' me to fill the form and come back. Now, an enthusiastic me though surprised at this order started looking around for a place to sit and fill the form. Our Govts being our Govts didnt seem to think it was important for people to sit while filling out forms, so they just provided a thatched roof on the left side of the gate for applicants to do their thing. I found that to be more like an animal shed with animals fidgeting around. I decided with a great deal of dignity that I will not stand in the animal shed set up by the Govt and fill the form. So, I looked around, found a concrete basement of the local police post, sat on it and started filling my form amidst a lot of curious peeks into my form from total strangers sitting next to me.

Ok!! I finally filled the form and got sent thru immediately by the policewallah(s). Now, as soon I stepped inside I realised it was the cellar of the building but looked like a busy market place with all the people moving around to form various queues. Noticing the absence of proper signboards (I wonder why?), I asked one of the guys there where I should be standing to get my ECNR stamped. He pointed to me the "right" place called General Enquiry counter and I politely went and stood there waiting for my turn in the long queue. Atleast there were seats for people to sit while queueing and I was waiting for my turn to atleast sit. I almost reached my seat and was about to sit that I learnt from some learned guy that general enquiry counter was just a queue for asking questions and I needed to go stand in a queue towards the end of the cellar.

I thanked him and started looking for this queue. I ended up at the place where a small gap in the chairs manned by another policewallah was leading to the application counters. The policewallah told me curtly that there is a long queue and I need to stand at the beginning of it. I now started searching for the beginning fo the queue desperatly since I had already wasted 30-40 mins of my precious time. I finally found the queue, it was a seated queue and though very long was a welcome change from standing and running around. Waited for almost an eternity there for the queue to move. In the meantime other people were in the similar process of looking for the beginning of the queue since another counter was just in the vicinity and the whole thing was confusing. I along with others took it upon ourselves to direct the citizens to where they belonged. Some poeple taking advantage of the fact that there was a confusion tried to get ahead in the line starting a scuffle and a series of arguments. I was a bemused onlooker as it had been 2-3 years since I saw THE (Indian) WAY of forming a queue.

Suddenly there was noise all around with people running helter skelter. No, nothing "untoward" happened. It was not helter skelter either, it was just that the morons who were queueing along with me and ahead of me were just moving ahead in the line. I will make it clearer, the policewallah at the end of the cellar had just let 20-30 people from our queue to go to the counters and so there were 20-30 empty chairs in the front now which any guy with common sense will think will be filled as the people seated in the queue get up and move along. But little did you know that in India people like to play musical chairs if you put chairs in a queue for their convenience. Thats it, I saw some of the most educated Indians making a dash for the empty seats in the front, creating total mayhem; run and grab whatever seat you can find in the queue seemed to be the act of the day. I didnt take part in the ritual as I had one really f**kd up leg. After all the mela subsided I ended up obviously at my original place in the queue, may be gained a few seats. Awesome!!! Frustration levels jumped a million levels in my impatient mind that was battered by the mela that just ended. What has happened to people of India? Have they been corrupted by the constant battles they have to fight to survive each day? Or were they born uncouth and uncivilized as a result of more than 200 yrs of disgusting n despicable colonial rule by the goras?

After a 5 min debate with self, I mustered courage and went up to the policewallah manning the way to the counters. I sternly asked him "why are you guys not manning the queue properly? People are running around like animals and you guys are not controlling them." If you didnt know already taking your chances with an Indian policewallah is calling for trouble. But, he seemed to be the nicer one you come across once in a while. He started arguing with me decently saying "what can I do if educated people are flouting the rules?" After a lot of arguing he agreed to control it the next time. Next time came and went and the same shit happened, and I didnt gain any distance. I was on the verge of a complete breakdown, when I decided enough was enough, I will also play musical chairs with my fellow Indians. But the third time around the constable kept his word and came to mann the queue brandishing his lathi at the erring idiots. It was the sanest moment of the day for me. After a little more wait I was sent through to the counters not knowing that more drama was in store for me and my dream of going to Maldives for my honeymoon was nowhere near.

What a way to begin my India trip?!! I guess brushes with the Indian system should be avoided at all costs. If you found my post even a little bit interesting, please make the effort to read my sequel "Passport Blues - II". Adios for now.

Hope?

One can only hope that India will be a developed country in his/her lifetime. The way things are moving in India I cant see it being a developed country in my lifetime atleast. My recent trip to India forces me to come to this conclusion. I cant see development anywhere. I do not like calling improvements development. This is what you find in India, things improving because they were in an unnecessary bad condition. True improvements will ultimately end in development, but depends on the speed of these improvements. What you find is everything is slow in India right now. But we can hope that it will pick up speed in the coming years and not decades. China should be our undying example showcasing hunger for development.

If you call "malls and pseud restuarants with limited or lack of parking being built in overcrowded areas, people driving expensive cars on shitty bumpy narrow roads, real estate prices skyrocketing on hype/speculation, government offices still being inefficient" development, then sorry I am not with you and I will never be with you. People are proud of their money and cars, spending lavishly is big for them. But, to me driving an expensive car on a shitty road is far worse than driving an average car on an average quality road. The malls are big and beautiful, but parking facility is most of the times shoddy and inadequate. Whenever I see a beautiful mall with parked vehicles spilling out on to the road, i get irked.

The Hi-tech city is another example of haphazard development. I had never been to the tech park and was hoping I will get to see a very modern and efficient system in place. The supposedly "modern face of Hyderabad" is so disappointing I got depressed at people's stupidity in accepting it as Hyd's prized possession and being proud about it. To me there was nothing to be proud about except that it was giving valuable jobs to scores of youngsters. The buildings are huge, wouldnt say beautiful or magnificient on the exterior but do give a mental image of the number of techies going about their work in a number of software companies. But what beats you is lack of parking in the buildings that houses some of the world famous MNCs. Bloody hell man! cars, bikes and scooters are parked by the roadside. What the heck! to me thats illegal and shows the apathy of the building owners and the companies housed there. The roads are dug here and there and everywhere, and are not wide enough considering the fact that most of the employees there are either driving or will be driving a car to and from work. To me Hi-tech city was an ungainly sight. The roads in front of my apartment complex here in the US and my beautifully built housing community in Hyderabad are 100 % better than hi-tech city roads.

I am so depressed about the lack of sense of development in India that I dont want to continue this post anymore now. When will people understand that development includes the notion of convenience and efficieny in whatever facility you are providing a common man.

Having a cell fone that has great features but bad network is not what I am looking for.

Silent Protest?

Now take the words "Protest Reservations" and put them on a black board or a black t-shirt or any black background. Now, assume "Pro" is written in a light coloured font, "test" is written in either a dark or a black coloured font and "Reservations" is written in a light coloured font as 'Pro' is. To a lazy observer like me or even a keen observer like you, it will read like this:

"Pro Reservations"

This is what you and me are doing today. Yes, we are protesting reservations, but silently (not with enough 'dhum" in our voice rather) and what do we sound like? Just think...

On my part, I am planning to wear black as a form of protest when I land in India on June 3rd. I hope to be able to get the words "One of the few places I am given reservations is on a Plane" or "Arjun is a dog" or "Thanks to reservations I know what caste means", etc (you could add more such captions). We could even start a t-shirt line with the brand name "youth for equality". Alas! wish I could do more than wearing a t-shirt. But, considering the fact that I am coming to India to get married I will have to pass the idea of sitting at dharnas or taking out morchas. Wish I could be a part of some youth protest. Some youth are really creative. AIIMS had the following slogans at the site of their protest:

"Is it a hand of Congress or a slap on our face?"
"I didn't vote last time but this time I will -- Congress you will have to pay the price."
"50% reservation 100% politics"

If by one in a million chance any of you happen to read my blaag and have a creative idea for a protest "caption" please do leave a comment.

You will crack up looking at the creativity of some guys.... follow the link
http://in.rediff.com/news/2006/may/24look1.htm

Jai Yuvashakthi!

A step backwards.

How many of us have reservations about reservations? I dont know about you, but I do.

The last time people thought about reservations in a major way was when a certain ass with half-baked ideas implemented the increased quota system way back in 1990 just to gain some political mileage. Such people should be shot or sent to Saudi for stoning. Well, the ass never came back to power even though he played vote bank politics. But wonders of all wonders his cousin, another ass has brought up this issue again. What does he need to do it for? Does he want to come back to power after this tenure? Lets ask the ass himself

Qner: Mr. Ass singh, why are you doing this?
Ass: I am doing it cos my ass is itching.

Qner: Oh no! I didnt mean why are you sratching your ass now. Why are you allocating the 27.5 % quota for OBCs now?
Ass: Oh that! I am doing it cos I care for the public. Its for their good.

Qner: Really? is that why your ass cousin did the same thing 15 years ago?
Ass: No comments. My mom told me not to fight with my cousins, so no comments on that.

Qner: Ok, so what about the general category guys and the merit?
Ass: Are you kidding me? Do you think I came to politics through the merit system?

Qner: Hmmmm..... dont know about that. Do you think this OBC public will vote for you in the next elections and bring you back to power?
Ass: Surely they will. They know I am a minister of the people, for the people and by the people. I want to make an appeal to the general public to make the next PM. I am sure they will not regret it.

Qner: Oh! come on Mr. ASS! you are way too old for that, dont you think you like your ass cousin should take retirement from active politics? Actually dont you think its time for old stupid politicians like you to DIE???
Ass: I wish I could but there are only a few slots available in heaven every year. And, 70% of the slots are reserved for SC/STs and OBCs which is so unfair for people like me belonging to the general category. If you fail to get the slot then you are sent to hell. So, I am not even trying.

Qner: You are so sick Mr. ASS!
Ass: Sorry, your time is up. Upto 50% of my interview time is reserved for SC/ST or OBCs. Now get going.

Ok, folks that was the interview with our shady senile minister Mr. ass. I pray for India's general good that this ass dies before they implement the increased quota system in the central univs. No, actually he should get AIDS or may be some STD or whatever.

My take on reservations: Should be limited in number and time and should be available on a one time basis to the deserving candidates. Once a person receives reservation in any higher education or government job, his son/daughter should not be entitled to reservations in the future. Guys whose fathers are earning well, can buy them bikes, can afford good high school education are totally undeserving and should not be given this luxury. And, ministers who support reservation for vote bank politics should be treated by a doctor who has come through quota system only. All the striking medicos have my support as long as they dont block roads or protest illegally. Road blocking is equivalent to a crime and punishable if you ask me.

No shit!

Wham! double wham! Before I could spit out a mouthful of melodious epithets, another bham! wham! I shrieked in horror at the white gooey spots, splashes rather, on my windshield. I made sure those mouthful of unhearables did come out this time. Bent forward, groaned at the latest splinter in the lower reaches of muh back and looked up to see a small but strong congregation of huge white birds sitting atop the fone cable that was passing some 30 - 40 ft right above my car. I didnt know these white feathery thingies loved to have their early morning loo meetings there. Must be discussing something really important like who is this month's "Droppings Champion" or "Cackling Champion"? Whoa! what is that thing hurtling towards me from the midst of the congregation????.... everything happened at a lightning speed. Even before my big bloated head could calculate the object's velocity (sqrt(2gh) aint it?) and react, it hit me right in the face. Luckily the windshield was there to protect me against the foul missile. I looked at the new coat of gooey paint on my windshield and said to myself "No shit!".

"If they want a war, they will get it" I exploded, and jumped outta my car. Little did I realise that I have still not recovered from the painful knee surgery I had a year ago. The inevitable happened; landed with a huge thud on the ground clutching my knee. The pain was horrible, couldnt even open my eyes to see if the knee came apart. Groaning seemed to be the best medicine. Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! What was that painful ringing noise in my ears? Is it the white birds mocking at me? Are they pointing their ugly feathers towards me and cracking up? I had to take revenge, I am the one who will have the last laff, I told myself. In a fit of rage, I threw the first thing I could hold on to at the birds..... the ringing noise stopped and slowly with a triumphant smile on my lips, I opened my eyes. FU*kING HELL! Where am I? What is all this around me?

By the time I realised what had happened my new alarm clock was no more, my bedroom was filled with all kindsa metal, electronic debris and what not. Dragged myself to the window and saw my car standing majestically in the sun; the windshield was still gleaming from the wash I gave it yesterday. To me it looked like it was winking.

Looking back at the crime scene, I said to myself "Probably a broken alarm clock was better than a freshly painted windshield with exotic paint". Will go to the orthopedist tomorrow and decide about that. Hope my future in street cricket doesnt end with a silly nightmare of white birds.... mummmeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Aunts or Uncles?

My thoughts lately have been revolving around my marriage. The D-day has been decided and is being declared to the world albeit slowly. Why slowly? I have perfect answers; one, becuase of my nawabiness (laziness as you morons prefer to call it) and two because I feel my parents are not doing enough declaring due to the uneasy questions they will face. Here we come to the focal point of my post. Do they face the most uneasy questions from aunties or uncles; basically are aunties more nosier than their better halves (and the media)? My two rupees on this is "YES DEAREST!! THEY ARE!". They are so frigging jobless that they prove the saying "an idle mind is a devil's workshop" to the core. So much so that when we say we fear the society we actually mean we fear "aunties".

I sure am going to face a barrage of questions from the aunties sooner or later on the "bride to be". Questions like "Why are you doing this?", "Where did you meet her?", "Why did you like each other?" or even worse "why did she like you?", "Oh! is she the reason why you dont call us anymore?", "Were those her parents that were there at your brother's marriage?", "Why a brahmin?", "How often do you guys meet each other?", "Why doesnt you mom tell us anything?", "Are you relieved that yours is not the first intercaste marriage in our family?", "Does she have fair skin?". The last question always beats the yellow bulbs outta me. How do I answer that question? Do I tell them that I fu*king dont care what colour her skin is as long as she is beautiful? Or do i ask them why the fu*k do you wanna know? Or does it matter what colour a person's skin is? Or do I just say as a matter of fact she is neither fair nor dark. The time spent answering these questions before my marriage should be really interesting and irritating.

I feel aunties should get a real job for themselves other than cooking. I guess journalism would be great for them.

Deal or no deal?

I have been thinking about this newkiller (nuclear) deal between India and America lately. I have been very confused about this just for the lack of details. This 'nu'clear deal is definitely new but not clear. The Indian Govt. doesnt think it is really all that necessary to go public with its views. The Singh Govt. has been acting like that for quite a while now.

Top Indian scientists and Indian public in general do not want this deal to go through since both in a way feel its a sell out.

Anyways, my main question(s) is, "Is India really interested in producing more power with this civilian nuclear technology deal or does it just want more acceptance in the present day world?". You ask Dr. Singh any question regarding this deal and pat comes the reply "We are acting in the nation's best interests". I guess he learnt this reply by heart perfectly backdoors, probably under Italian tutelage.

Lets comeback to the main question. It's kinda clear from what I gathered from various articles that the total nuclear energy produced wont amount to more than 10% of the country's energy production (not even 10% of needs). So, are we bending over backwards on this issue while holding a begging bowl in the front for something thats not going to contribute much to the nation? While this has been the question floating in many minds in India, its quite the opposite question thats floating in minds abroad. The opposition parties along with the nagging ruling coalition member CPI(M) have cried hoarse to no avail with regards to this deal.

Lets see what is in store for this deal in the near future. Will the US Govt. be able to convince their Congress to pass this? Or will it fail? The US senators are pretty suspicious about the so called third wolrd countries and their growing power. Since they have not read Indian history or know little about India other than outsourcing issues, I am skeptical about them shedding their reservations. How about the NSG? Will they be willing partners to this deal?

DEAL OR NO DEAL???

My very first one

Dudes and dudettes out there,

With this blog, I am entering the world of all the jobless bloggers who are feeding you endless personal opinions and thoughts without any concern for y'all. Ok, with this I end my blog.

Thanky'all, keep reading ;-).

PS: Dont put too much thot into why the horsie is there on the left. I put it there cos it looks cool!